The summer of 2014 was a busy one. The planning and prepping that surrounded our four family weddings lead me to anxiously desire one thing; calm. I knew I would get it, I was sure of it. As the year drew to an end I could taste normalcy. I saw lazy Saturday’s, casual family dinners, and peaceful Sunday mornings on the horizon. I was ready to focus on my infant marriage and excited to navigate new family dynamics. Then, everything changed.

I was completely unprepared for the challenges of 2015

I was completely unprepaired for the challenges of 2015; my fathers death, the purchase, remodel and sale of our first home, new jobs, a move across country, health complications and much more. My husband and I have been chipping away at life’s curve balls and I’ve learned a lot while at bat. Change is difficult and infuriating but that’s not all it is…

Change is sometimes mostly uncontrollable.

There are 7.1 billion people on this planet who have plans, plans that will somehow indirectly affect my own. My husband’s dreams and aspirations have the ability to alter my expectations just as easily as mine can, and will, change his. Even more so, there is no way for me to comprehend the unseen ripples of my own decisions. Unknowingly, I am single handidly capable of sabotaging my own objectives.

I am single handily capable of sabotaging my own objectives

Change alters you.

You cannot survive change without changing. Even planned shifts are uncomfortable and transformative. Frequent change makes you more adaptable, creates expectations that aren’t so permanent, and makes uncharted circumstances less frightening. Change allows you to be more empathetic and compassionate, change creates c.o.m.p.l.e.x.i.t.y.

Change is inevitable.

To never change is to never live. Change is unavoidable – hiding from adaptation is to refuse growth and abstain from progress. Change refines us, it forces us to face our fears and weaknesses. Change is a necessary evil. Appreciate every moment but do not expect consistancy. Give thanks today, expect the sudden shifts of tomorrow.

Appreciate every moment but do not expect consistancy

I’m still coping with the sudden deviations of 2015 and pathetically hopeful that 2016 will be a calmer one. That aside, I’m grateful for the challenges we’ve overcome and the lessons we are still learning. I’d like to think we’ve come out on top of our new normal but to say that my husband and I are the same individuals we were back in 2014 would be misguiding and untruthful. Today we are weaker and stronger, b r o k e n and rebuilt.

Stay humble, stay focused, and make no small plans.

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash