It’s Not Me, It’s You.

Dear husband,

I’m not the same women you met back in 2009, not even c l o s e. There are some deep-seeded ideologies that have dredged my soul; thoughts and resolutions that have shaken my perspective and challenged my worldview. But before we get started, you should know – it’s not me, it’s you

Singularity ain’t so scary

Individualism should be celebrated

What if I’m destined to be alone?” A question I asked my mom – repeatedly – at the tender age of twelve. Someone, somewhere, convinced me that some souls are built for singularity and I was choking on the thought that I could be one of those people. Then I met you. You showed me that individualism should be celebrated and over the past seven year’s you’ve taught me how to profit from my flashes of solitude. Was my soul destined to be alone? Absolutely not. But you’ve made me unnervingly ok with the possibility.

This too shall pass

I’m observing your attitude of adaptability

You have this uncanny ability to be steadfast through the most p o l a r i z i n g experiences. I envy that. In our short two and a half years of marriage, you’ve been my rock more times than we ever could have predicted. But you should know, I’m not just leaning on you, I’m observing your attitude of adaptability in order to build my own resilience to change.

I can and I will

Your faith in me has been the fiercest, purest form of empowerment

Regardless of my failures, you’ve never ceased to have faith in me – and THAT I don’t understand. Where I’m neurotic and stressed you’re cool and collected. Where I’m hopeless and fearful you’re expectant of the best. When I’m exploring rock bottom you’re building ladders. What shocks me most is that you never hesitate to place me on a pedestal even when you know that, eventually, I’ll slip. Your faith in me has been the fiercest, purest form of empowerment.

Thank you

So, the next time you go away on business don’t ask me if I miss you. I do. but I’m also exploring my new-found fondness for alone time. The next time you look over and see me standing quietly at the base of my mountains, know that I’m equipped to tackle the challenges before me. And when you see me march confidently into a deep valley know that, because of you, I will emerge.

Thank you, husband, for constantly challenging me to be a better wife, friend, sister, daughter, niece, cousin, employee, colleague, boss and human being. Thank you for inspiring me to learn through my shortcomings and aspire to do better. Thank you for being real, transparent, honest and introspective – it’s changed me in ways I’ll never be able to articulate.


Stay humble, stay focused, and make no small plans.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s